So...how's married life?

I get this question occasionally....and the answer is always the same.  Feels the same as unmarried life.

At 19 married life was significantly different than unmarried.

Unmarried - live with parents or room mates,  I did both...

Married - together,  experience the morning breath,  the unwashed,  the dirty dishes and the "fun" stuff.

Unmarried - talk all night on the phone or on the front step,  just to be together.

Married - go to bed at 10 and think that's great.

Unmarried - spend every moment waiting to be together again,  act stupid in love when together,  think that you're not acting stupid in love...but you totally are.

Married - about the same.

Mr. C and I lived together for 1.5 years before getting married.  Why?  Oh,  the complicated answers that don't fit on this blog. 

Pro - I knew what I was getting myself into with this guy.  I knew his good, bad and can tolerate that.  

Con - see above.

Pro - I knew that I still wanted to be with him.

Con - He got stuck with me due to the above. (wahaha)

What has changed now that I sport his name and wear his ring?  Not much.  A general sigh of relief from those that weren't handling the 'not married, living in sin'  but not much else.  The kids have had different levels of dealing with change.  I think they've done well.  They've all spent time with us since the wedding and been able to see that nothing has changed.   Mom and C are still the same,  it feels the same at their house.   We have always been as open with them as is appropriate for their age.  We continue to be.  They ask a question,  we answer that question.

Moving on...

Dear Wave of Change,  thanks for the ride.

So the Wave of Change thing was about my job.  I was on the Reserve for a year.  I didn't hate it,  but too many aspects of it were not playing well in the mental health area.  I consider myself a confident capable girl,  generally smrt... : )...and able to handle what comes her way.  Working FT has been an adjustment,  but it fits.  This position had played it's time and the fat lady was bellowing her final lines.  I cut back for the summer,  and started looking for something else.  The role I found is not too much different in task,  but light years different in attitude and environment.  Plus the commute is cut by half.  Have to dress up everyday rather than jeans and flip flops...but I can handle that.  The accessory junkie in me loves that part...and "adding to the work wardrobe" is a good excuse for frequent retail therapy.

Old Job - Office Manager,  Tsuu Tina Nation

New Job - Financial Services Manager,  Canada's Sports Hall of Fame,  COP.

I have some big goals for this job...financial is not where I want to stay forever.  It's what they need for now,  so I get my foot in the door.  

Jody at Sanity is Overrated linked us all to an interesting blog today.  I followed,  read,  was intrigued.  Check the side bar for new listing of When the Flames go Up.  Something to ponder.  Hits home for Mr. C and I.

I co-parent 7 children with 3 other parents.  My children and their father,  my stepchildren and their father, and my step children and their mother.  Doesn't matter how you look at it,  we're all in this together.  We may not communicate,  may not make plans or set schedules,  may not even agree on aspects and concepts together..but the fact still remains...I co-parent 7 children with 3 other parents.  I also co-parent 7 children with 4 sets of grandparents.  They all play a different role in the life of these children than they did before.

Advantages...these kids get a lot of love from a lot of different people and places.  Their families have grown as they experience new people and new relationships.  Disadvantages...it gets a bit confusing where they fit in,  who plays what role,  who all these new people are,  and if it's okay to love new people.

For now,  I think we'll be fine.  We all love our kids,  all want the best for them.  All are trying to help them deal with the change in their life with open ears and open minds.

And to start,  let's have them all at our house...at the same time....welcome to my week.

More to come,  if I'm alive....and have held onto my sanity....which as Jody makes perfectly clear,  is often overrated.

Wedding Pics....

See all GSIL pics on FB

No more sleeps....

So...today's the day.  I've hinted that it's happening,  but didn't say when...today is when.

Why today?  Scheduling made it so that today was when mostly everyone was available.  Two of my brothers won't be there unfortunately,  previously booked holiday...and lives on the other side of the world.  I will miss them.  I love you both.

It's been a very stressful week.  Job,  life and no sleep have not helped that.  Never named all the last minute details of the wedding.  For small and simple it sure has been busy and expensive.  We could have done this in Mexico for the price that small and simple has turned out to be.

But it's here....how do I feel?

Not sure actually.  A new chapter of life...

I love him,  I want to be with him,  he makes me happy.  This is the right choice for me,  for my life.

The other stuff?  Complicated and conflicted.

At 19 the morning of my wedding was a whirlwind,  I remember very little of the details.  I was excited and anxious and nervous and oblivious.  At 35 the morning of my wedding,  I am taking a minute to myself.  I am excited and anxious and nervous....and ready.

So far no rain,  overcast and still the possibility....but still dry.  It's an outdoor wedding,  with a backup plan of 'shoved in our living room'....hope for dry weather please.


Life Part 2 - 8 hours

I don't have time for you....

Sorry...deal with it.

New House
Still unpacking
Basement Development
Kids
Cleaning for Company
Meal planning for company
Haven't picked out flowers yet
Second dress fitting
Mani?  Pedi?  Neither booked
Hair appointment
Kids again
Music,  is it going to be loud enough
Chair covers,  Yes?  No? 
Get the last tans in to rock the pictures
Princess doesn't have a dress yet
And she wants a Tiara
Pick up the Chairs
Find a place to store the chairs
Boating? 
Pre-Part-ay
Wedding

Oh...and I work full time.

Bright n Shiny

Though the dentist was not where I wanted to be on Wednesday....I had two moments there that I am grateful for.

First...M said I'm all bright and shiny again....that has not been an easy process,  but I have found myself...finally.

Second,  I had a short chat with E.  My heart aches for her,  I've been there.  Not totally the same,  but the hard choices, choosing what you have to do,  I feel for you.  What I realized on my drive home after that chat,  is that I didn't leave because I didn't love him,  I left because I didn't love me when I was with him.

Thanks girls,  you help my bright and shiny.

Welcome Home

Ty Pennington wasn't there...but we're finally home.

I've been surprised how emotional I've been these past few days in our new home.  It's been a long 15 months of 4 moves and no real space to call our own.

This is also my first new house.  I've pretty protective of it.  Don't scratch my walls or hard wood floors....thank you kindly.

And if anyone could come water my money tree,  I'd appreciate it.  Though our house isn't huge or fancy,  it's three times the size we've been in...not including the house sitting,  we didn't use our stuff there.  So we're realizing just how much we still need.   Plus Casey's already started the basement,  so that's $$ too. 

Dear Lotto Max,  I'd like you to call me please,  I don't have a ticket,  but you should just know.

Miss Princess is loving her new space.  She gets her own room.  The only one that does.  All her brothers, and brothers to be have to share.  She's pretty stoked about this, and likes to rub it in.  Though she's impatient and frustrated that we're not getting her room looking fab-u-lous...like,  right now!  Partly due to funds and the allocation thereof, and partly due to a girl that changes her mind 40 times a day.  Crying melt down in Ikea over garbage can, but we recovered and are moving forward.  Garbage tragedy averted.

I,  being the Dumbo Elephant I sometimes am (my mother called us that growing up,  with love,  of course)..thought it would be great to have the kids right away.  In the new house,  with boxes everywhere and general chaos.  This was not a well thought out plan.  I was at my wits end.  So much to do, kids running.  We survived,  thanks to a backyard of dirt...and boys that like dirt,  and Casey who's great with kids...and smoothies.  IN ADDITION to my lovelies that were with me,  we had Big L,  cousin and buddy.  What's one more right?  My sister had warned me that he sometimes struggles going to sleep...I found this out.  First of all,  I'm on the top bunk with O.  "Mom you have to lay down with me"...ya well,  mom doesn't hike herself up the ladder as easily as once was.  So three little boys and I are trying to settle down.  Big L is in a nice cozy nest on the floor,  when I hear...

L - "Auntie Tiff - I can't fall asleep"

"Dude,  that's because you're talking and you're eyes are open"   

L - "Oh,  right"

He tried for a couple more minutes...

L - "I can't sleep on the floor Auntie Tiff,  I need to be higher"

I'm pretty sure I'll sleep better if I'm high too,  I don't think that's what he meant.  So now I'm on the top bunk with TWO little boys.  Fortunately we had seriously worn them out with a very long walk to a school that we thought was an elementary school and had a park.  It did not.  It was a Catholic High School.  Sorry,  new to town.  A hill saved us.  Rolling, running, skipping, bum scooting (sorry about those grass stains Jules).  That's what they did down the hill.  I was happy to sit on the stairs and watch them.  Then came "who can roll down the hill like you're dead or dying"  I'm not sure how this came up.  There are not a lot of activities in my life that I need to play out "like I'm dead or dying".  But they were all into it.  J rolls down in a very controlled way,  not wanting to get too much momentum.  L rolls down with his arms glued to his sides,  totally straight,  but his head in a weird "I don't really want to bonk it on the rocks" way.  Like a mummy.  O man goes all out,  as he does with most anything in life,  flailing his arms and legs...and Miss S...well she knew how to die in style.  And the best part was once they were at the bottom,  we told them to stay there so they could die on each other,  in true war stardom.  When they were all dead,  we ran.  They didn't find that as amusing as we did.  Party Poopers.

Then,  the infamous game of Mother May I?  Casey was hero of the day with this one.  They thought this was hilarious, except when any one started losing,  then each of the little boys had their own separate melt down...but survived.  J man was slow to talk,  unlike my other chatter boxes who came out talking.  (I don't know where they got that from,  really,  I'm serious...it's a mystery)  He did his best being the 'mother' and did a great job.  Though if you let a person take 27 big steps forward,  well the game is over pretty fast.

Did you know that Old Navy grand openings involve reptiles,  bad bad balloon art,  fake tattoos and cotton candy.  They really know how to rock it out.

Did you also know that if you have W at the store,  she's already been your personal shopper and you leave with a shirt you didn't know you were buying....she's a handy girl to know.

This just in...Casey is on a road trip to Saskatchewan for the day.  He's a rockin fun guy, as you can tell.  It's for work.  So,  he's driving along the high way and I get a text with a pic.  Not even the main highway,  but a back one...cause he was going to Kindersley. 

See that sign,  go ahead and guess what it says....a Blackberry pic won't let you know,  but look at the surroundings.  I'm sure you'll guess.  Keep trying,  almost....okay,  you'll never guess.  Its says,   Exotic Dancers.   ??????  Wha????  That's right.  Are they in that shed ready to jump out at the next guy who can't resist? 

"Why are you so late dear?  And what's with the glitter?  Why is your shirt ripped"

"Oh,  I was driving from Kindersley and couldn't resist the girls from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.  You should see how they rock the poll in their petticoats and bloomers"

I'm still shaking my head....and Casey is a little more alert on his drive home.

Resuming our conversation....

I've decided that I'm not actually all that funny,  it's my kids that make me cookey.  Notice how bland and boring the blog posts have been lately.  Throw three boys and a princess in the mix,  pow,  I'm full of witt and humor.  (I think so anyway,  the rest of you can suck on a popsicle)

Wave of change,  still working on that....can't let you in on it yet...and no,  it's not about the wedding.

Wedding,  plans are in place...dress is bought,  tux rented,  invites are out (sorry if you aren't getting one,  it's very small and immediate family... + M,  cause she's queen of the world).  Once all family receive their invite,  I'll post what it looked like.  GSIL took amazing pics as always,  and thanks to Photoshop,  I have less wrinkles....ha ha.  Where the h**l did the wrinkles come from? But I know how to rock my PS...so I have smooth silky skin in the pic,  and yes that's what I always look like...really,  can you stand farther back to talk to me please.

So,  this wedding is for the kids...essentially.  We feel that they need the definition that it provides.  I was counselled way back to marry the dude as quickly as possible,  if that's what my choice was.  Children understand what married is.  I was very happy to jet to Vegas and do it over a weekend.  And we could have with what this 'small, simple' wedding is costing.  Cause you should for sure have a 'small, simple' wedding in the same summer that you move into a new house and finish the basement.  That makes total financial sense. (on the floor crying in a puddle)   But our children need to see it official.  Apparently official involves sparkly stuff,  shiny shoes and color selections.  I was good with jeans,  hoody and city hall.  GSIL will document the whole thing...post later.

We were at StupidStore the other day getting groceries for the influx of big boys that eat food like a grazing herd.  And nice girl is giving away free misty things.  What are they called?  Just had a total brain drain...I"m gonna have to google them....um....hmmmm...totally had to text C and ask him.  Ok,  so she was giving away Air Wick things.  She asked me if I wanted a motion sensor one.  I looked at her..."so that I can get shot in the face with it every time I enter the room?"  It seems that's the logic,  cause she said yes.  And yes, that's actually what I said to her.  It's part of my wit and charm that I talk to people as if I've known them my whole life.  I tease strangers in line at places,  in many different countries.  It's a talent,  just love me.

Have you tried Spanx?!  Holy Macaroni with Ketchup those things suck you in.  It takes a team to pull those suckers on,  and don't even think you're gonna get it off very quickly.   Don't wait too long,  that's all I have to say about the tinkle process.

Happy Tuesday!

The Beans

Since GSIL spilled the beans...I guess I'll do the same...

Yes,  we're engaged.