~ Stretch those Muscles ~

Wow...I'm out of practise with the blog. Have to get my groove on again, in order to bring to you the much anticipated, always appreciated and yet to be published rantings of....well....me.

Have you even been to the US of A for the 4th of July? Par-tay! I was there recently. Hot weather, loud music, good friends....and Fireworks. We're sitting beside the river at a park in downtown Great Falls...waiting for the actual fireworks show to start. But the entire horizon is full of fireworks that everyone is shooting off in their backyards. As far as you can see, fireworks. Way fun.

Invermere last week for our usually annual, but sometimes bi-annual, that not everyone came to (L&BJ!!) family reunion. We've done this for years. Rent a house/condo/shack/tee pee and shove all of us in...with 12 kids...and say we're having a great time. Every year....EVERY YEAR that we do this, we look at each other and say..."What we were thinking". First of all, we see each other all the time. Except for that G-Family that trooped off to Sask...in search of adventure. So they don't count. Oh, and also except for the B-Boy who is Chinese. Okay, so 3/5 of us and the big mom and dad head to Invermere. This year was a new experience as the kids went with their dad for the first part of the week, and then we switched and I stayed for the second half of the week. Helps us all get some time on the trip, but accommodate the current situation. Anywho...fun was had by all. Beach, sun, food... Beverly Hills Chihuahua??!! (don't ask)

Job...I have one. A full time one...and I'm here to inform that it seriously cuts into the fun factor. I was recently discussing this with my main man D. Who ever thought that working full time would be a good time, was seriously mistaken. Like in mondo proportions. Its takes up the whole day. And you get home and you're wiped out and want to do nothing except watch So you Think you can Dance. Well maybe that's not what you do...but it's definitely what I do.

While on the Invermere escapade, I was reading with a sleepy little boy named Mr. O. His day had been full of row boating, rock throwing, cousin teasing, lake dwelling and snack snacking...so he's was, obviously, tired out. He's not usually one to nap...being 5 years old. But his skinny little bottom was tired. So he takes a nap while all the rest are at grandma's eating dinner. Wakes up, rubs those ridiculously long eye lashes eyes...and says..."Wow mom, I really needed that!" Yes buddy, I often am in need of a good nap....another thing that FT employment interrupts. Strike 2.

So Miss S got her ears pierced. She and I had a "mom date" and did the job. She was brave...no, she wasn't...but it was accomplished. So she leaves them in for the prescribed 6 weeks. Comes to stud graduation day...and can't get the new ones in. I'm sure it was possible, but combination of a leery little girl, and an inexperienced dad...not too many piercings on that guy...she didn't get new ones back in. And didn't want to try again, in case it hurt. So they've now grown over. Oh well, will try again in a few years.

Did we all move to Phoenix? Why is it so hot? Good for boating.

Wakeboard Journey:

Summer 1 - lay in the water with the wakeboard attached, get lurched out of the water time and time again. Biting it every time and drinking a lot of lake.

Summer 2 - Get up on the wakeboard but then too tired to try anything more.

Summer 3 - Get up first time, get out of the wake on comfortable side, and hard side. The goal for this summer was to get across the wake. Since that's already happened, cause I'm a super hero....now the goal is to get across the whole wake, with a little speed.

Summer 4 - which hasn't arrived yet...jumps. And not the kind where you land on your face and knock the wind out of your sails (throat clear, cough and point)...but the pretty kind. I'm sure all the professional wakeboarders describe their jumping technique as pretty....they do.

Are you Granola? I have decided I am not. There's nothing wrong with being Granola...it's just not me. Now...if you are...all the power to you. If you don't know what it is, consider these questions.

1. Do you feed your children fruit or vegetable at EVERY meal?

2. Do you put flax in everything they eat?

3. Do you use the word "hemp" on a regular basis, and know what it is...cause I don't.

4. Have you graced the threshold of a Natural Foods grocery store?

5. Do you avoid hair dyes and processing?

The list can go on. Anyway, I'm not granola. I do feed the kids decent stuff...and use flax a fair bit. But lets face it...the kids have been known to have left over cold pizza, flat pop and cheesies for breakfast.

New experiences of late....Stock Car Races. First of all....holy bologne it's loud.

Show and Shine....also a car thing. No one was interested in my car. I left all the doors open, and put the hood up...and put snacks on the seats and everything. They didn't take pictures. Snobs.

Sprint Races...again...cars. Are you sensing a theme? Sometimes you participate in activities cause your friends want to...not cause you are actually interested. Anyway here's the rules.

~ Drive very slowly up to the starting line.

~ Spin your wheels out so that there is tonnes of smoke and a terrible smell, and everyone is all excited that something good is going to happen.

~ Make sure your engine sounds like it's going to stall at anytime, this is supposed to be good.

~ Wait for the nice girl to sweep away all the tire pieces that you just left on the ground from the revving and the peeling out.

~ Wait for the green lights...and this isn't a metaphor...there really is a green light.

~ Finally, drive as fast as you can for 100 metres. If you're good, this lasts less than 2 seconds. if you're not it's more than 3. SECONDS...so there is a lot of build up...for nothing.

~ If you can 'pop a wheely' while you're driving for those 2 seconds....the fans like that.

And this ends our tutorial on Sprint Racing.

Now...if you're ATTENDING any of the above mentioned events...there are some pre-requisites.

Not for me...obviously...but everyone else.

You must:

Have a shirt that has a band on it. Preferably Metallica, ACDC or Starship. Okay, not Starship...probably KISS.

You must cut this t-shirt in some way so that it no longer resembles the item you paid for originally. Then dress this shirt in two ways. Stretch it over the belly of a beer toating 50+ man...or stretch it over the "enhancements" of a female variety.

Get a Tatoo. It is very unacceptable to show up at these events without one. So I found out.

Know SOMETHING about cars. Beyond where the gas goes, and how to put it in Drive.

Tips - old cars that look new - good.

New cars that look new - bad.

Cars that sound like their engines are dying - good.

Cars that have engines sticking out of the hoods - good.

"I like the red one...it's pretty" - bad

"Why is that car so close to the ground - are the tires flat" - bad

Truck that looks like you pulled it out of a pasture and completely over hauled it - good

Trucks that look like you bought is last week with your inheritance - bad

Keep these tips in mind the next time you find yourself at an event with a lot of screaming people, engine revving...and a yummy black guy. Oh, that might be a side note for me and my aunt.

It was fun...my horizons have expanded.

This post is getting very long. That's what happens when I don't blog for more than a month.

k...serious stuff.

I have been asked by those that read my blog... How come you don't blog about the kids anymore? I do, as much as I can. My time with the kids is limited at the moment, and not by my choice. Due to my choices, yes. I have activities going on in my life that don't involved my children...and also have those that do. It's a balancing act that I haven't perfected. Don't Judge, just love.