Aug 31, 2010

The Book of Awesome

Have you seen this book at Costco?  It might be the best mood lifter upper you'll ever find.  It's based on the blog also worth reading.

Just a few of my favorite from the list....(five cause more than that is too much effort).  Now you can go to the blog and read his commentary on this,  but we all know that I'm going to now proceed to make my own commentary.

#997 Locking people out of the car and pretending to drive away
Okay,  my first thought on this particular point is this should be mandatory for all people who are irritating.  If you bug me,  for whatever reason I find pertinent,  then we should take a drive together.  I will be driving,  obviously,  and you will be jogging/fast walking beside the car trying to gain access.  Now the time of access will depend on just exactly how much you irritate me,  and what you have done to qualify for the #997.  So,  consider your action before going anywhere in the car with me.  You're about to be schooled.

#981 Wearing underwear straight out of the dryer
This is may be the best stress relief ever.  I mean what could be better than a warm bottom end.  Now,  if you have a new fancy washer and dryer,  like I do,  be careful with this point of awesomeness.  When the heat options go from mild to extreme,  you should take this into account before running bottom less to your laundry room,  waiting in a breezy fashion while the dryer finishes and then whippin on those toasty babies.  Burn factor is all I'm saying.  Especially if you're in the odd and head shaking category of life and have some sort of zipper on your underoos.

#967 Illegal Naps
What qualifies as an illegal nap?  Really,  at what point would the unconsciousness REALLY be ILLEGAL.  There are likely some vastly inappropriate times for a nap....and that's right sports I will share what I consider those to be.

~ While using the facilities.  Now hold up cowpokes.  I know what the male version are thinking....."What?!  that's the perfect place for a little snoozer".  Well,  the reason I know that this is a bad place for such things is that a) I have pictures of all of my children asleep on the potty seat,  do you want that sort of thing out there?  b) What if you fell off,  huh?  Just think about that.  c) How do you balance?  Head back against the wall?  to the side on the counter?  forward on your knees and forearms.  That's just too much prep for me.  And if you have to balance like that,  it's a hard surface on your skull.  That means that part of your skull is going to fall asleep...and likely a pillow is also not recommended.  Forget the National Geographic and Sports Illustrated,  a pile of pillows maybe?

~ At work.  If you are George Kastanza then you already tried to think about this location, and rig up the under desk for a nap time wonderland.   Doesn't matter how much you Chris Angel it,  you cannot pull  it off..."I wasn't sleeping,  just thinking intensely with my head on my desk."  "No really,  my eyes are always closed  like this, and a pool of drool is there for....washing?"  "This line on my face has been there since this morning when I woke up,  I don't have very bouncy skin"

~ Continuing in the "not likely a good idea to nap at work"...let's consider the occupations where this would be especially wrong.  E & M...their no.  Anything that involves you holding something sharp and metal (which don't they say not to put that stuff near your teeth,  and yet Mr. Professional not only does that for a long time,  but with force) near my mouth,  teeth and face....please stay alert and on guard.   GSIL's job,  not likely to be productive in the picture taking arena,  if she's el snoozo.  And little Bro...and the flying aircraft....hmmm...big no no.

~ On a date.  First of all,  what does that say about the other person if you suddenly lay your head back,  curl up on the booth seat,   fall off your chair during a conversation.  Yawner,  get a personality.  Now,  maybe you're a hard worker,  burning the midnight oil as it were.  Then please,  put a sign around your neck or something.  "Warning,  warning...."  It's just good manners.  Further,  if they come back from the potty and you are asleep,  what are they supposed to do?  What if this is a blind date?  Or only your first or second?  Dude,  they don't even know your last name yet...never name having to shake you awake.  What if you have a night terror?  Or farted in your sleep?  Ohhhh,  this isn't going to end good night kiss for you.

(I know what you're thinking......oh thank Hansel and Gretel....SHE'S BACK!!!  Well,  I have some time to kill at this moment,  and have some good mental health at the moment,  which confusingly  means lots of head shaking stuff on the blog....back for now,  no guarantees...stop pressuring me!)

~ Skiing....enough said.

~ Pie Eating Contest...just sayin.

~ Beauty Pageant.  Now,  as you probably are well aware,  I've been in many of these...and have a padded lovely room in my home with all my trophies and ribbons.  Big hair fact the big hair is there too. I just take it off and put it on the shelf.  Anyway,  enough about me.  I can't think of a single point where napping would be good.  Not during the swimsuit competition,  the talent show (baton twirling especially,  ofr anything with flames) and FOR SURE not during the question answering.  Seriously,  that's hard enough for them to get through,  never name if even slightly asleep.  I aced this part,  of course.

#956 Using Rock, Paper, Scissors to solve anything
Wouldn't this make life so much easier?!  Well,  it has it's pro's and cons.  First of all,  how many tries?  Best 2 our of 3....4 out of 5?  And who decides?  The guy who's trying to win,  or the one who's trying to limit?  Need a mortgage....are you the decider or the banker?  Okay,  so for simplicity sake....let's say that you always get to be the decider.  

I think these are the types of decisions that could be best solved with Rock, Paper, Scissors.
Having children (now already this is going to cause controversy cause if you want a baby,  and he just wants the making the baby part....well you're both going to lose if Scissors cuts your paper)
Buying a new car
Quitting a job
Buying fast food or eating salad
Driving to Regina.....(if only our Rock has smashed their Scissors!!)

But these seem to be times when the RPS (it just takes too long to type) is maybe not recommended.
Sky Diving,  after jumping
During a Tattoo
Hair color when the foil is already on
When looking at the new piercing in the mirror
During a root canal.

Just my thoughts,  I'm open to your suggestions.

#946 The first shower you take after not showering for a really long time 
How long is "a really long time"?  Like after Trek was pretty great (email me if this means nothing to you...cause I know that 90% of my readers just nodded and said "oh ya" in their heads) Camping...ya,  maybe.  But it seems like "a really long time" would indicate that dreads have started and those nails that grow so long that they start to curl.  (Why is it that whenever they show these people in the Guiness book of World Records, they are always trying to hold a pen and write.  Are they authors and just didn't get around to clipping...for 45 years?!)  Or remember when they told that story growing up that you had a growth on your face and it opened up one day and spiders came out....yes I had a disturbing childhood.  That would seem like " a really long time since cleansing".  If it's been "a really long time"  how long should that shower be required to be.   For me,  even going more than a day without washing my mop of hair,  it takes a solid two washings for the soap to get through the hair,  like right to my noggin.  What if you had the dreads that were piled on your head,  and had things hanging and moved on their own like Medusa-ish.  Possibly that would be the time for some Herbal Essence.  (What's with those commercials...really....dumb)

Well,  my five is done...and I seem to be on a roll....wahaha....a few more then.

#935 Eating cookies like Cookie Monster
This should be a requirement before starting any long term serious relationship.  If you do it badly,  well that is clearly a bad choice in mate.  But what qualifies as doing it well?  Velocity?  Range?  Crumb Coverage?   I know,  points to ponder.
#914 Surprise Two Ply
All I can say about  Purell Please.
#851 Your Family car growing up
This one is confusing.  Does you car grow?  Mine must be defective because every single day,  it looks the same.  Never have I come out and found a mega beast on my drive way. But this point seems to indicate otherwise.  I'm asking for a refund.

#781 Guys who wear not shirts at cold sporting events
Now,  this really is awesome.  What if it's was "I'm on a horse guy...."  Ooooohh la la.
#695 Walking around with a black eye
That seems to be gender specific....and my impression of the book and blog is that it is male created.  Boy black eye..."I'm a tough guy"  Girl black eye....hmmmm

#658 When you meet up with a group of friends and they stop talking to celebrate your arrival 
You are all terrible terrible people....this has never happened to me...and it would seem a NO BRAINER that it should.  Go to your rooms and think about what you've done....I better see a DRASTIC change in behavior.

#598 Secretly sniffing your armpits and realizing you don't stink
This action is not as secret as you think it is.  There are no motions that I can think of that naturally bring your armpits anywhere near your face....really.  I double dog dare you to give me an example.  So if you think you're secretly doing anything,  I'm here to tell you Professor Plum,  you are mistaken.  However,  that being said...when you find out that roses are what best replicates your pits ....congrats...that's awesome.  But that doesn't happen that often...

Alright,  I can't use up all my wittiness in one day....that would NOT be awesome.

Aug 29, 2010

The Hair...

Of all my qualities,  hair has never been one I was lacking.

I have a lot,  and it's curly,  and frizzy and takes a lot of time,  everyday, to tame. 

However,  sometimes it's worth the time and effort that is necessary.

Aug 23, 2010's married life?

I get this question occasionally....and the answer is always the same.  Feels the same as unmarried life.

At 19 married life was significantly different than unmarried.

Unmarried - live with parents or room mates,  I did both...
Married - together,  experience the morning breath,  the unwashed,  the dirty dishes and the "fun" stuff.

Unmarried - talk all night on the phone or on the front step,  just to be together.
Married - go to bed at 10 and think that's great.

Unmarried - spend every moment waiting to be together again,  act stupid in love when together,  think that you're not acting stupid in love...but you totally are.
Married - about the same.

Mr. C and I lived together for 1.5 years before getting married.  Why?  Oh,  the complicated answers that don't fit on this blog. 

Pro - I knew what I was getting myself into with this guy.  I knew his good, bad and can tolerate that.  
Con - see above.

Pro - I knew that I still wanted to be with him.
Con - He got stuck with me due to the above. (wahaha)

What has changed now that I sport his name and wear his ring?  Not much.  A general sigh of relief from those that weren't handling the 'not married, living in sin'  but not much else.  The kids have had different levels of dealing with change.  I think they've done well.  They've all spent time with us since the wedding and been able to see that nothing has changed.   Mom and C are still the same,  it feels the same at their house.   We have always been as open with them as is appropriate for their age.  We continue to be.  They ask a question,  we answer that question.

Moving on...

Dear Wave of Change,  thanks for the ride.

So the Wave of Change thing was about my job.  I was on the Reserve for a year.  I didn't hate it,  but too many aspects of it were not playing well in the mental health area.  I consider myself a confident capable girl,  generally smrt... : )...and able to handle what comes her way.  Working FT has been an adjustment,  but it fits.  This position had played it's time and the fat lady was bellowing her final lines.  I cut back for the summer,  and started looking for something else.  The role I found is not too much different in task,  but light years different in attitude and environment.  Plus the commute is cut by half.  Have to dress up everyday rather than jeans and flip flops...but I can handle that.  The accessory junkie in me loves that part...and "adding to the work wardrobe" is a good excuse for frequent retail therapy.

Old Job - Office Manager,  Tsuu Tina Nation
New Job - Financial Services Manager,  Canada's Sports Hall of Fame,  COP.

I have some big goals for this is not where I want to stay forever.  It's what they need for now,  so I get my foot in the door.  
Jody at Sanity is Overrated linked us all to an interesting blog today.  I followed,  read,  was intrigued.  Check the side bar for new listing of When the Flames go Up.  Something to ponder.  Hits home for Mr. C and I.

I co-parent 7 children with 3 other parents.  My children and their father,  my stepchildren and their father, and my step children and their mother.  Doesn't matter how you look at it,  we're all in this together.  We may not communicate,  may not make plans or set schedules,  may not even agree on aspects and concepts together..but the fact still remains...I co-parent 7 children with 3 other parents.  I also co-parent 7 children with 4 sets of grandparents.  They all play a different role in the life of these children than they did before.

Advantages...these kids get a lot of love from a lot of different people and places.  Their families have grown as they experience new people and new relationships. gets a bit confusing where they fit in,  who plays what role,  who all these new people are,  and if it's okay to love new people.

For now,  I think we'll be fine.  We all love our kids,  all want the best for them.  All are trying to help them deal with the change in their life with open ears and open minds.

And to start,  let's have them all at our the same time....welcome to my week.

More to come,  if I'm alive....and have held onto my sanity....which as Jody makes perfectly clear,  is often overrated.

Aug 12, 2010

Wedding Pics....

Aug 8, 2010

No more sleeps....'s the day.  I've hinted that it's happening,  but didn't say is when.

Why today?  Scheduling made it so that today was when mostly everyone was available.  Two of my brothers won't be there unfortunately,  previously booked holiday...and lives on the other side of the world.  I will miss them.  I love you both.

It's been a very stressful week.  Job,  life and no sleep have not helped that.  Never named all the last minute details of the wedding.  For small and simple it sure has been busy and expensive.  We could have done this in Mexico for the price that small and simple has turned out to be.

But it's do I feel?

Not sure actually.  A new chapter of life...

I love him,  I want to be with him,  he makes me happy.  This is the right choice for me,  for my life.

The other stuff?  Complicated and conflicted.

At 19 the morning of my wedding was a whirlwind,  I remember very little of the details.  I was excited and anxious and nervous and oblivious.  At 35 the morning of my wedding,  I am taking a minute to myself.  I am excited and anxious and nervous....and ready.

So far no rain,  overcast and still the possibility....but still dry.  It's an outdoor wedding,  with a backup plan of 'shoved in our living room'....hope for dry weather please.

Life Part 2 - 8 hours

Aug 3, 2010

I don't have time for you.... with it.

New House
Still unpacking
Basement Development
Cleaning for Company
Meal planning for company
Haven't picked out flowers yet
Second dress fitting
Mani?  Pedi?  Neither booked
Hair appointment
Kids again
Music,  is it going to be loud enough
Chair covers,  Yes?  No? 
Get the last tans in to rock the pictures
Princess doesn't have a dress yet
And she wants a Tiara
Pick up the Chairs
Find a place to store the chairs

Oh...and I work full time.