Apr 27, 2009

~ TAKE!! ~

Have you ever done indoor climbing? May I say.....FUN! If you have, then you understand the title of this post, if not, well....tough luck Charlie, please try again.

This is a way fun activity that I will be pariticpating in on regular basis, and hopefully get to the point that I climb outside, on actual rocks....or mountains even (woohoo) However, it must be said...the nether region strapping....ouchy.

Apr 24, 2009

~ Think I'll buy a lottery ticket ~

So, hypothetically speaking, if you get a ticket for speeding through a construction zone....while talking on your cell phone....(not me of course) then that ticket will be HUGE. And the cop will not be very friendly, even if you act like a dumb girl (which has gotten me out of tickets before) or if you flirt with him (that only worked when I was 17)....


If the cop then fills out the ticket wrong, then when you call in to pay the ticket..... (ha ha ha) it's invalid and you don't have to pay!!!!!

Gonna buy a lottery ticket today, the universe is smiling up on me.

Apr 23, 2009

~ Laugh Often ~

The blog has a new title....as you've likely noticed. Three aspect of my life that I think are important.

Eat well, Laugh Often, Love Much.

Today we shall look at laugh often. Papers and pencils out please, turn to page 10 of your workbooks.

Wikipedia - Laughter is an audible expression or appearance of happiness, or an inward feeling of joy and orgasmic stimulation (laughing on the inside). It may ensue (as a physiological reaction) from jokes, tickling, and other stimuli. Inhaling nitrous oxide can also induce laughter; other drugs, such as cannabis, can also induce episodes of strong laughter. Strong laughter can sometimes bring an onset of tears or even moderate muscular pain.

Okay then....if I'd have known that's what it was.....I think I'll avoid it. Seems it's not all what I had previously assumed....and sounds also slightly uncomfortable and moderately invasive. Didn't realize that drugs were involved in laughter, learn something new everyday.

So why do we laugh? Most often it's at people who think they're funny. At least that's me. Many in my family think they're hilarious....one in particular...who shall remain nameless....but starts with an L and is a boy. I laugh at him...he thinks he's funny....I laugh AT him...

Another reason people laugh may be because the situation warrants it. You don't want to hurt their feelings. After all, they're trying to be funny, though possibly not achieving. This has also happened to me, see previous point to pinpoint the person......who shall remain nameless.

Now there are the rare times that the conversation, action or result of acting is actually funny. But that doesn't happen much....mostly I'm still laugh AT him...not WITH him.

And finally.... I laugh because people look funny. Plain and simple....if you look funny, I will laugh at you....no worries.

Thus (yes Jason, I said Thus) ends our lesson on the importance of laughing (at your brother) next week we'll learn about laughing at people who really are funny.

Apr 22, 2009

~ Deserted Island and other Nonsense ~

So I was recently reading Clever Girl goes Blog, whom I enjoy... you should check her out. You thought I was quick witted and crazy....wow, I'm an amateur compared to her. She's got it goin' on.

Anyway, she recently posted about the top 5 necessities if stranded on a deserted island. Now, I figure there are two types of deserted islands....

This one... with one 's'.And one that contains these....with two 's'......
Now those are both enjoyable, and I'd like to participate in either.

But since we're talking DeSerted Island, here are 5 (frivolous and ridiculous) things I think i would need.

1. Personal Blender

This seems like a necessity. Cause whether a Deserted Island...or a Desserted Island, both could involve fruit. And nothin says yum more than a smoothy. Now, the ice issue may cause a bit of a hurdle...

2. Ice...and a Delivery Boy

The smoothies are just going to be juice unless there is ice. I'm sure there will be a small village somewhere, oh, except it supposed to be a deserted island. Whatever, it's my island, I'll decide. So if someone could please ride this contraption each day to deliver said ice....and maybe this guy could be the rider. I don't know him...or anything about...but really, I'm only looking for 'Candy' to delivery the ice anyway, not an explanation of the universe.

3. Hair Straightener

I have hair issues. See the blog banner, and the nice sleek smooth hair? Ya, that is not how it sprouts from my noggin. No...NO. Curly and frizzy is what I'm naturally blessed with. THAT takes blow drying, straightening and product. I realize you're thinking that a hair straightener will be useless on an island without electricity.... who's blog is this?!!!! Not yours.

4. Electricity

HELLO!!! Need I say more.

5. I'm out....there's a plethora of other items that I'm sure I'd need. But so many to choose from. I'll ponder.

What would you take?

~ Welcome Mr. Potatoe Head ~

This is Mr. T Potatoe Head. He is having a great day...rockin' the accessories and the 'do'. He will be the rep for the new blog. Wanna sling the poo poo at me....gonna have to pass by 'The PH". So don't....he's tough, he can take ya.

New blog looks like the old blog.... I know. Difference....nothin' much. Still me rambling about nonsense and generally giving my opinion on random points of life.

If you're here to get details on my life.....please proceed to the closest exit. Wanna ask a question....welcome to dinner, please take a seat. Wanna give an opinion....the comment box is on the wall. All are invited and expected. But take the responsiblity by not hiding behind anonymous. I know there is gossip flying like a fat pink pig. Some may be accurate, likely most is not. Life is complicated, decision are not always understood or accepted.

So keep your arms and legs inside the bus, fasten your seat belt....and hold on for the ride.

Apr 19, 2009

~ Tick Tock ~

The new private blog will be debuting soon. I am making no assumptions on who wants to be a part of that. So if you want to be added to the list...let me know

Apr 17, 2009

~ Going Private ~

So....decision made.

This blog is going private. If you're interested in being a part of the the continual craziness that is me....send me an email.

I can't guarantee that I'll accept everyone....but send me an email with the email address you'd like to have added to my list.

Apr 15, 2009

~ Crossroad ~

I'm at a crossroad with this blog. Keep it and put up with the anonymous commenters who feel that they can comment on my life. A life they know nothing about.

Keep the blog to continue to entertain and give a giggle and gaffaw to those who come by and see how my weird and wonderful mind works.

Close the blog to shut off the continual cheap shots and digs that some feel are appropriate.

Close the blog and then have millions and millions (five) fans feel that they've lost their only source of quality sarcasm....

Hmmmmmm, what's a girl to do?!

Apr 8, 2009

~ How are the windows on YOUR glass house?! ~

It would seem that some think my blog is the place to make comments, judgements and generally reveal information about my life that I am not prepared for the world to know, yet. Due to that, comments will now need to be moderated by me before posting.

Further, it would also seem that there is information out there that is inaccurate, gossip or just plain wrong. So....you want the scoop, (though I may decide that you're not on my list of "those in the know")...then email me personally.

Want to yell, judge, comment or anything else.....then come straight to the source.

~ Alrighty then....~

Alright children, stop fighting. No one needs to take sides...

Anonymous #1, I don't know who you are....so many fit the bill at the moment. Maybe phone, email, txt, cell.....so many options to contact me rather than a public blog...just sayin'.

Apr 7, 2009

~ Just to prove....~

May I first say, thanks to the many that sent words of support and kindness my way. You guys rock. I will not be sharing anytime soon the details of the "hit by a truck and dragged in the dirt"...but I still felt the love from many.

There have been some that have decided I'm no longer quite myself, based on my recent life decisions....so just to show that in fact I am me, none other....the ever popular and widely adored ( or irritating) TOP 10 LIST.

Now, some are not a fan of me at the moment. I dare you not to crack a smile....double dog dare, if I may.

1. Recent trip to Mexico was fantabulous. Sun, surf, beach...food. Nothing can be better. On said trip I had the opportunity to rappel into a ravine...hole...area of greenery. I don't know what it's called...but there was falling off the side of embankment, hanging from a rope and having a jazz hands good time. THEN, there was zip lining across the jungle. Now this is a very enjoyable experience that one and all should put on their "to be accomplished the next time I come across a jungle in Canada". The one draw back would be the cinching. They cinch you pretty tight in the nether regions in order to let you fly across the jungle with the greatest of ease. Nothing says fun like a wedgy while flying across like you're Jane of the Jungle.

2. There was a sign posted on the beach

"Be Aware of 70 yr+ men in Banana Hammocks"

okay, there wasn't....but there should have been....cause they walk around like everyone can hear the "Bom Chicka wah wah"....uh no, ewwwww. Gag.

3. Twilight was offered as a source of entertainment on the flight down. This was a mistake of the Transat Holiday people. I'm sorry all, but I fall into the category of those that loved the books, hated the movie. Sorry, way over acting and brooding looks only lulled me to unconsciousness.

4. The entire flight...there and back...was freezing. Not sure if they were trying to climatize me to the air conditioning awaiting me in paradise, or to the 40 degree temperature difference coming home. But seriously....I had to ask for a blanket. And then snuggle up to the guy beside me....who, may I mention I did not know...but surely did by the end of the flight. Might have been me in his lap sucking the life sustaining warmth that did the trick.

5. It amazes me that people take small children to Mexico. Many of the people on my flight going down were also on the same one coming home. One particular couple had taken their 18 month and 4 month old. Now I don't actually know the ages of these children...but I have had a few children of my own and am guessing....educated guessing. Anyway. 5 hour flight each way. Child sitting in your lap. Well, I'm sure the child was supposed to sit in someones lap...that was likely the option chosen when the flight was booked to avoid the charges for another seat. But in fact the child did very little sitting at all. I felt sorry for the lad...no one wants to sit for that long...especially when Twilight is being shown. It's a crime against nature.

6. When at Mexican resorts there are often nights when the local vendors come and set up their wares. Then lie to you all night so you'll buy their crap. "Oh, the pretty lady...needs a necklace for your beauty and grace"....okay, I'm not sure this is what they said, it was all in Spanish...but they smiled at me when I looked their way. However at one point there were guys dressed as Mayan warriors....which interestingly involved a lot of feathers, getting in touch with their feminine side I guess. So they want to have me pose with them to take a picture that they're going to post in the lobby later and require the cord blood of your first born if you'd like a copy. So fine, its usually easier to just pose for the guys then to try to avoid them in broken Spanish. I get all posey and do my thing. Meanwhile...one particular warrior is slowly working his hand around my back and toward my....um.....girl parts. Don't know if he thought that Canadians don't actual feel the skin they wear, but he certainly had a good hold on me by the end. Keep your feathers to yourself Mister.

7. I had been told the last time I ventured to Mexico that the locals can tell Canadians from Americans....Canadians are friendlier. This was the theory. I don't take sides...just passing on the FYI. So fine...I'm a friendly Canadian. However, this was not my theory at all. I think you know who the Canadians are for two reasons. The mayonnaise white skin or the tomato red burned skin. You can pick them out like marshmallows in a stack of Oreos. Four, three, two, one.....these people never see the sun.

8. Canadians also seem to lose rational thought when vacationing in Tropical countries. First of all, they forget that sunscreen was made for a purpose. And next, they try to fly home in their shorts and sandals. Cause they're going to fool the customs guy into thinking that they're actually people who always reside in paradise and are just visiting Canada. Forgot to pack some warm clothes, don't have any, you see....cause my address is 10 Sunshiny Place. So they walk around the Calgary airport, all tanned and flip floppy...and think they're fooling people. No can do lady, you're totally Calgarian...so take off those shorts and get your thermal gear on. Gotta get home to the record snowfall.

9. But alas, the tan is starting to fade. Could sit out and try to revive the life into it...but I don't know that the color of frost bite matches my current complexion. Plus I'd have to put the bikini back on...that's right, I wore it....to line up the tan lines. Cause there is nothing more un-cool than a modge podge of different tan lines going on.

10. Okay have to mention Spinaker. If you're on a boat on the ocean between Cancun and the Island of Women (that's what the literal translation is....let the drool fly boys)...then you have the delightful opportunity to do many fun activities. Spinker would be one. So get out the big boat sail....roll up a towel and attach it to the sail with rope and duct tape (all duct taping safety standards were strictly adhered to). Then jump into the choppy ocean, cause it was a little windy that day...place your bottom end into the towel/duct tape swing....and let her rip. This provides a high flying time of being hoisted out of the ocean as the sails fill with the delicious humid (but makes me have crazy hair) air of the tropics. So high in fact that you're looking down at the boat that you've resided on all day. Then the lovely men of the boat pull the sails down and lower you closer to the water where you're supposed to jump off all poised and athletic and gracefully swim back to the end of the boat where they lovingly help you out of the crystal clear ocean. OR...if you're me, you get dumped back into the ocean rather unceremoniously where you then half drown half die as you fight against the waves and current of the said crystal clear ocean. Chocking and gagging on yucky salt water....and NO ONE helps you back onto the boat cause you're the last one on the Spinaker and they're too busy getting ready to head back to shore. So you use every last ounce of strength not to be buried at sea......but hey, got to fly on the towel/duct tape swing over the ocean. FUN!!!

Apr 4, 2009

~ Still here.....~

One whole month since the last post....that's a new record I think. I've wanted to post, had some great things to post about, but lately I've been reluctant. Until the encouragement of others started coming in.

See....I've made some drastic decisions for my life in the last few weeks. I'm not very popular. Many are angry, more are confused and a few have thrown their hands up and given up. But me, well I'm just the same girl.

So the blog will stay. The content may change a little as I have always blogged about my life and the happenings there. Don't know that everyone is ready for that.

For those who know of my situation, I give you time to wrap your head around it. Time to come to terms in your own way. Hopefully the time to see that it's just me.

For those that have contacted me....thanks.

And for those that haven't the foggiest idea what I'm talking about...if you're looking for the feeling of being hit by a truck and dragged through the dirt, shoot me an email, I have a whopper for ya.