1. I started a craft club....mostly for myself. I like cute stuff...and to give away cute stuff. So I made up an excuse to be crafty. Of course it may also be my need to seriously cram my life full of so much stuff that nothing ever really gets finished. Whatever...it's who I am...why fight it. It's been fun being creative this week. I actually taped a Martha Stewart show to get some ideas. Martha Stewart irritates me....shocking I know...it's her voice I think. She was making candles out of gourdes. Who came up with the name Gourd. It must be a Latin word translated that actually means "Squash with lepracy".
2. We were Trick 'r Treating on Wednesday...along with the rest of Western Civilization. I saw this couple dressed to the nines, with their 6 months old baby. Really?...you're taking the 6 months old trick or treating? It was obviously their first child, you're always so gung ho with the first. You're only going to eat organic, you'll never have a soother, you'll never take a bottle to bed, you'll read at 3 months and do calculus at 9 months. Whereas the last child...the milk is in the fridge is you want some, here is a tooth brush...you figure it out.
3. The Honeymoon after four children is coming in 28 days...but I'm not counting down or anything. I've decided the thing I'm looking forward to the most is doing nothing with Brian. We never get to do nothing together. One of us may be doing nothing, but the other one will have all the kids....it's rare for us to be simultaneously doing nothing. This time we're going to do nothing on the beach.....that's the best place to do nothing.
4. This girl at Michael's yesterday had a stud in her nose and then two more...one on each side of her lower lip. I'm looking at her and thinking "huh?". She was a pretty girl and wasn't Goth or anything...at least not while working at the craft wonderland. But what the heck...the nose stud was fine, but why put two more on your bottom lip. Doesn't that feel like you've got a full zit all the time. I don't understand multiple piercings anyway....what is it supposed to say? I can take a lot of pain....I'm cool cause I have holes in me....your grocery list will be on my ear with a magnet if you're looking for it. I don't get it.
5. Is the style right now for boys to wear tight jeans? Like tight to the ankle jeans. I saw these two yesterday that were not only wearing matching outfits ( I thought only girls did that) but their jeans were bright red and tight. I noticed that only the skinny leg boys were wearing them...you don't see the linebacker in ankle tight jeans...however that is something I'd like to see. "Ya so I got up to the line of scrimmage and I'm looking at this guy like I'm doing to pull his brains from his eye sockets and....blah blah smack talk blah bla...." But no one hears him cause their looking at his tight red jeans thinking...um buddy....what the heck?
6. There are some interesting children's names out there these days. S has a girl in her class named London and I've heard others like Ireland, Coco, Apple...k those were all in People Magazine while waiting at the dentist. Do people look at their brand new beautiful baby and think "I would like you to be beat up everyday of your learning years...so your name is now Winnipeg" Like really...I'm all for unique and nontraditional...but weird is a whole other thing. Here are my suggestions...cause everyone always wants to hear my opinion... Warsaw, Acapulco, Arkansas, Nunavut....if you're going to do it....go all the way.
7. Have you seen the new Viagra commercials...the guys speaking their own language. Someone pitched this idea....thought it was good...hired actors (Hey mom I got a gig finally...I'm the new spokesman for Viagra....Oh son I'm so proud...I've waited for this day...) practised this whole thing....paid for it....pitched it to TV people. Everyone said "yes that's great" (shaking my head confused...huh?)
8. I like Grey's Anatomy. I watch it...I PVR it. I want to be Christina when I grow up. How come I can't talk like that to people and they smile and walk away. No one every smiles when I say what I want...they walk away right to the Bishop's office and tell on me. My bishopbric councellor told me this week that I might consider turning up my filter. You know the filter I have in my head where I don't actually say everything that I'm thinking. I told him I do have a filter..he was surprised (he'd really be surprised if my filter wasn't on....hey...maybe I could get released...hmmmmm) He suggested maybe I could turn up my filter...oh fine....but if that kid spits at me one more time I'm gonna spank him.
9. I have four people in my life that I don't have to turn the filter on for. They know me..they "get" me. You always need friends like that. You don't have to put on the face, the act or the role. Just be my bitter, sarcastic, judgemental self. Don't get me wrong I'm happy....I'm happily bitter. I'm not bitter about my life...just about people who do ridiculous things that I wish I could cuff them and say "what is wrong with you" Parents don't like it when you do that to the Primary children....just FYI. Thanks D,K, J and B...you guys are my bitter babes.
10. I get hot really easily. And before your mind wonders too much...I mean overly warm...not "Hey Brian come home early".... = ) I go barefoot most of the time because I get too hot. I can't have my hair on my neck when it's warm out. My housecoat is too hot. I finally found what I've been looking for yesterday. A housecoat with no collar in T-shirt material. Oh happy day..... I could make one but I don't have time. There's nothing witty about this point...just reporting that I've checked another item off my eternal list. Find a new housecoat - check.
11. Speaking of my eternal list;
Clean the house = (
Finish laundry = (
Fold laundry and put away = ( = (
Find new housecoat - check!
Find new husband....no he can stay this week
Plural marriage - maybe that will be the problem solver - you can clean, wash and cook....I get the rest - oh and I'm bossy and easily irritated, deal with it.
Grocery shop - man these kids eat a lot - our budget would be so much better if food was not such a constant draw on the resources.
Teach Owen to wash toilets - just a thought.
Teach Jack to wash floors - I'm going to put rags on his knees - might as well be useful while you're speed crawling everywhere.
Eat more of the kids candy - double check!
Run - next week I'm not quite over my cold
Christmas gifts - half done
Lose 10 more pounds before Mexico - um ya, that's not happening
Ask Brian to get ripped before Mexico - I'll put a sticky note in his lunch box.
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