Apr 24, 2008
~ Count down to Regina ~
Apr 22, 2008
~ Migraine ~
Apr 17, 2008
~ Judgements ~
I've come to know that I have been judged from what people read on this blog. I find this amusing. Why? Isn't this blog my life, isn't what I say here the very core of who I am? Aren't opinions expressed and statements made all done with an officer standing beside me to ensure that they are all true and accurate. Don't I print out every entry and laminate it in my journal so that future posterity can read it and really know who I am.
There are a very small quantity of people in the world that really know me well. Know who I am and what I'm about....know what my personality is, what my values and goals are. Those people are the ones that read every entry and laugh and roll their eyes because they know me. Those are the people that I make every entry especially outrageous for. Like the entry about B being a rock star. Totally wrote that for J, who I knew would get a huge kick out thinking of B wearing eyeliner. And as I predicted...got an email from her expressing her enormous gratitude for the big laugh she got from that one. Seriously people...relax.
For the judgers.....well, "he who throws the first stone....."
Apr 13, 2008
~ Word is out ~
1. D had her baby this week. Gotta say, so happy for her...but glad it wasn't me. My 'baby', if you can call the Truck that runs around our house by that term...is now 18 mo old and a crazy guy. He comes by his nickname 'Truck' as he's a solid boy. But D has a tiny little S now that is a pretty sweet guy. His siblings couldn't quite get why I'm kissing and loving him....he's not my baby. Well I've been waiting for him too, and my babies can fight back now...and he just smells so good. Doesn't make me want anymore, but sure nice to snuggle him.
2. The count down is on. Today is the 13th. I leave for a quick trip to visit Miss T in 11 days. Then back for two days and off on the big road trip with my gals. So much to do in the next 11 days. So many files to finish and file...so many more that will be late, cause people have to get their stuff to me sooner, and with all the paperwork intact....and possibly without gum, hair or dead flies contained in the file. However when I find cash, that's okay.
3. The city near here had a record dump of snow last week. Pretty funny, cause my quaint little town only 50k to the East got narry a flake. Ha ha....
4. This weekend my cottage, home, abode, residence and flat is getting all new windows installed on the main level. Pretty revved about this. The current panes....and they are pains....are not good. They provide constant air conditioning in the winter, and sauna quality heat in the summer. They have cracked and peeling wood....and lovely, also mold in places. They don't seal properly, thus the mold. So new windows all around. Cause I don't have enough going on with tax season, trips upcoming, life and a new calling....let's bring in construction guys and have them rip up my house for a couple days.
5. The man around here had a birthday yesterday. He's gettin closer and closer to 40....he turned 36. Wow!! I met this particular love fest when he was 22. Life's had it set of roller coaster rides, but mostly I'm pretty fond of him and all he has to offer. I think I'll keep him around a while.
6. Speaking of love fest. How is yours going? I have found in nearly 14 years of marriage (can you believe that? I thought only old people were married that long!!!!) that it just isn't the same from day to day. So many things contribute to this relationship. The stress and fun of life, the strain and joy of raising our children, the aspects that money and jobs and all that provide. The foundation is there and always will be. Our committment is immovable. But basically whether or not I like him today, can change. I have to say that I'm pretty lucky, he is a low key guy that doesn't require a lot. Feed him, clothe him and 'you know what' every so often, and he's a happy camper. Well that would be the wrong term, he hates camping. What do you do to keep it fresh?
7. Old....are you old, I'm not old. I was telling my young cousin that's in college and only 19...that B was having his birthday this weekend. She was saying how she can't even image in being 36. Well I'm here to tell ya sista, when I was 19 I couldn't either. But 33 ain't lookin' too bad. And I would never want to go back 19 anyway. It's funny how the head is still the same....but the body...well....
A few questions on my list to ask my maker;
Who decided that the women would carry, bare and then nurse the babies. Do you understand what all that entails. It's all ouchy and I don't think that B's contribution to the process and mine are quite even.
Who thought it would be a good idea for the woman to put on 30+ pounds while carrying this joy and then spend the rest of her life trying to get it off?
Who decided that the 'nursers' would no longer stay in place after the precious joy is on the earth. And what's with the flattening...aren't they supposed to stay a shape that is NOT flatter?
Who decided that the joy would then cost hundreds of thousands of dollars to feed, clothe, house, put in sports, shoes, bikes, electronics, hair products, and then provide and eductions for.
Who decided that these joys would be moody, go through unpleasant phases of mouthiness and would have serious Diva issues about what they wear to church?
Who decided that they would smell bad?
Just wondering, I would like a quiet word with this person, in a room with a door.
8. Hair. Do you have good hair? I have decent hair, but a lot of it. If I didn't have to do my hair, we might be able to sit on one of the soft benches at church, rather than the left over seats at the back. Why do girls with straight hair want curly, and curly girls wants straight. I spend a lot of time straightening out my hair. I cut a lot of it off a while back, and that has cut down on the time factor....but still. How much more would we be able to accomplish if we had great hair....all the time. It's the least we could be provide with, being that we've brought the 'joys' into this world.
9. Spring is upon us, and that means that shorts and capris are being considered. I have an order coming of shorts and capris that I hope are a hit. Why can't we have instant tans as soon as the whether gets warm and the legs being to appear? Cause the white pastiness is not enjoyable, but what's a girl do to?
10. Have you been watching American Idol. I PVR it and watch when I have two episodes taped. One with them all singing and then the next one where someone gets booted. I don't like the suspense. Who do you think will take it? I like David Cook. Got that whole rocker hunk thing goin'. Maybe I'll ask B is he wants to take up the electric guitar....and spike his hair and possibly and little eyeliner. (Those that know my darling love are falling off your chairs imagining the eyeliner I know....can you see it!!??!?!)
Apr 7, 2008
~ 4 Years Old ~
Apr 1, 2008
~ 8 SIMPLE RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER ~
Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two
: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off my daughter's body, I will remove them.Rule Three
: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.Rule Four
: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind will kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.Rule Five
: In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."Rule Six
: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.Rule Seven
: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?Rule Eight
: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romance or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.Rule Nine
: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.Rule Ten
: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.